Freedom in LOVE

Jul 03, 2019

“Here’s a key to WAKING UP!!! 


The self serving (part of the) ego is simply the bars we’ve put around our own heart to protect us from the traumas of the past. Drop the story from your past... drop the bars around your heart.” 


Shankarcharya’s words ring within me...


I’m having the most amazing day with 50 friends celebrating my 34th birthday (14 years ago) overlooking the cliffs and ocean off of Pointe Dume in Malibu, CA. The day, weather, people and location are perfect. I have a smile painted on my face, yet inside my stomach is churning. I’m struggling to gain a full breath. There’s a nightmare unfolding in my paradise.


I know what’s wrong. Angela, the woman I’m interested in is playing real stand-offish with me while gushing towards one of my buddies. This is a relatively new thing for me where the woman I begin date are at roadrunner speed towards me then as soon as I open my heart to them, they pull away. It’s happening for the fourth time in a row!


This party could have been the best day of my year, rather... my mind is crippling my experience of joy. The more I play it cool and pretend Angela’s distance is “All Good” with me, the more the knot grips in my belly.


All I want to do is scream out the fear, the rage and the anger for every time I’ve ever been disregarded or abandoned... I want to throw the rage over the cliffs catapult it into the Universe.


I realize that this may not be the time to scream bloody murder with all friends here singing me “Happy Birthday”!


The best I can usher my mind into for now is accepting that this is the circumstances today. That gives me enough space to make it all the way through until I arrive home...




I rush into my bedroom straight to my meditation cushion. I slam my eyes shut. Take a few deep breaths. My body tenses and I begin to cry. It’s a deep, convulsing cry that digs into the crevices of my lungs.


The pain of not being loved in return when when my heart is so exposed feels like too much to handle.


What am I to do? I don’t want to return to my old way of having the upper hand in every relationship with armor around my heart nor do I want to wade in the murky pools of disempowered love tainted with neediness and expectation.


Isn’t there another way? My soul is calling for a new way of being... a new way of experiencing love.


I naturally know my next step. I must slice the energetic cords connected to Angela who represents every woman I’ve ever courted. I must sever all the forms of manipulation and expectation I’m putting on Angela. The expectation for her to return my interest. The coy manipulation of playing cool to lure her in. Any unconscious connection, I am here to release forever!


I stand in my moon lit room. I take out my shaman’s knife. I imagine every cord connected to Angela. I grab hold of the cord at my navel. I raise the blade above my head and chop through this slippery-stubborn cord.


I find another at my heart center. I take hold and this more barbed wire-like creeper. I feverishly gash through this one too.


I begin to chant, “No more. No more. No more games. No more lies. No more traps. NO MORE!”


From there, I shear through countless cords... I swing left-right & up-down. I keep dicing until every cord is pulverized.


I finally drop to the floor, tears wash down my face. My breath slows and head drops.


I lie down for a few minutes silent with the shining beauty of the waning moon.


I feel a spark in my heart and a call to sit straight and check in.


“How are you doing Jason?”


I connect into my field and the energy around me. It feels clean. It feels clear. It feels mountains lighter.


“Is there anything you need Jason?”


I feel grateful, peaceful, gentle, yet empowered... I FEEL SO MUCH LOVE!


“What is your relationship with Angela?”


My eyes widen, I look up to heaven in the crystal night.


With Laughter I chant, “I am free. I am free. I feel totally free... Hahahahahahaaaaaaa:)”


I continue, “Whatever unfolds with Angela or any other woman. I release them. I release them from any expectations or manipulations. I choose freedom for all involved!


I wake up the next day fresh, revived hopeful...


Last night a door of freedom and empowerment opened. Now my opportunity is to step through. It is my choice whether I tether myself back into the old patterns or fan the flame of true freedom.


This is the beginning of a new life and new way in relationship... I declare it! I commit to it!



I ASK  YOU... Are you ready to break through the bars around your own heart? Are you ready to soar with true LOVE & FREEDOM?


If yes, your next step is... SELF MASTERY!


It is time to master your mind and master your thoughts. If you want to be free of expectation and manipulation it starts with YOU!




Times running out... literally, next week.




With love and gratitude,



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