How to Overcome Feeling Like a Fraud

Sep 08, 2019

“I feel like a total fraud. Whenever I have friends come to me for help and ask me for advice, I help them any way I can. They often seem to feel better after talking with me and are grateful for  my support. But, I feel like a fraud.”


This new client continues, “I hear the words in my head say, “Who are you to help this person? You can’t follow this advice yourself. You don’t know anything. Look at you! What have you really done that means anything? How can you help anyone if you don’t even know your own purpose?” I feel like a fraud and want to feel authentic.”


If you’ve ever felt like a fraud in your own life, this letter is for you!


The natural question is, “Where does that feeling of being a fraud come from?”


Really, before reading further, take a moment and ask yourself, “When I’ve felt or feel like a fraud, where does that feeling originate? Or, why is that feeling here?





Try this on and see if this fits: Simply, the gap between living and embodying one’s purpose will be equal to the gap we feel between being authentic and fraudulent.


When we unearth our purpose in the world and take the steps to share ourselves through our purpose, there is such gratification in this. Most of us are craving to be able to authentically share our gifts, help others and be greatly appreciated for what we offer to our community. 


To find your purpose serving the evolution of our world is a worthy pursuit and a gift to discover. Many clients I sit with who have this burning passion, ambition and vision to serve with purpose have a glimmer that is exciting and contagious. You can feel that they have a piece of the puzzle in the secret club of satisfaction.


Yet, embodied success of one’s purpose is not the end of the golden brick road to eternal joy and peace. It is simply a valuable step.


If solely living our outer purpose was the abode of bliss we’ve all been searching for, then Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade and Robin Williams would still joyfully be here as beacons of that utopia.


If living our outer purpose give us the legs of joy but alludes the heart of it, then what does it take to live in the center of infinite joy and peace?


Eckart Tolle mentions that there is your primary purpose and your secondary purpose. Your primary purpose (whether we know it or not) is to “wake up”, wake up out of the dream. Your secondary purpose becomes how you share your awakened state with the world.


Today, I was reading one of Swami Muktananda’s discussions. He speaks of merging oneself with God is the most natural pursuit in life (primary purpose). He compared it to a river rolling towards the ocean.


Muktananda described why rivers rush towards the ocean, “Look, it’s from the ocean the vapors rise and these vapors become clouds and clouds turn to rain and as a result of the rain a river comes into existence.


So, it is quite natural for the river to rush towards the sea, because the sea is its very source. The sea is the place from which it has sprung and to which it owes its existence, so there could be nothing more natural for a river than rushing towards the sea and loosing its identity in the sea.”


The drop which we call the embodied soul has emerged from the ocean, the limitless ocean of the Supreme Being and is quite natural for this drop to feel an intense yearning to become one with its source (to be whole), to become one with this limitless ocean of consciousness.”


The reality is that it is natural to move towards your primary and secondary purpose. The satisfaction you feel when you give your all and succeed with a project you love is awesome. And... the sweet bliss you feel when the mind ceases to run amuck and stays focused on your breath in the moment is always available to us.


What is unnatural is to deny our value in this world. There is only one you... Your thumbprint, your signature, your unique way of seeing the world is a gift and can easily become an offering to the world!


I humbly ask you now to take a step to face the dragon that keeps hiding your brilliance in that damp, musky cave. That dragon is not bad... it has been trying to protect you from something that appears dangerous. The bottom line though is a question that must be asked, If I allow the dragon within to keep running my life, WHAT IS THE COST?


The cost to playing small? What is the cost to playing it safe? The cost to living without purpose? The cost to dying without living purposeful? The cost to you? The cost to your family?




I often ask, “What is the cost to you if you live this way for another 10 or 20 years?”


Whatever that cost is... it’s costing you that right NOW!


If you’ve read this far, this is likely landing for you! Rather than read this and chalk it up in the box of  X - I liked this blog   - or -   X - This one didn’t fit for me... TAKE ACTION NOW!


What is one step you can take towards living your primary purpose (ie. commit to 40 days of 3-5 mins. of meditation each day - every day)?


What is one step you can take today to move towards your heart’s purpose in the world right now... One step (ie. reach out to a friend to hold you accountable to take a class that will support you in becoming the life coach, meditation teacher or service based entrepreneur you’ve wanted to be). DO IT NOW!!!


In gratitude,



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