How to Calm Down in 1 Minute

“How can I handle the stresses of life like war, the collapsing of the environment or loosing my job when it seems out of my control? I feel scared and am unsure how to deal with it.”

“I feel like my ego has won. All the chatter in my head tells me that I am not good enough and do not deserve anything good coming my way. It feels like I’m a burden and I’m giving up hope. Do you have any ideas on how to get out of this dark hole?”

I’ve recently had several readers and clients ask for help with words like what I’ve written above.

Have you ever found yourself feeling this way unsure of how to return to a place of peace and inner confidence?

Whether it’s an impending war, environmental destruction, loss of your job or the darkness that travels through our minds, there’s a feeling like we have no control over what will happen. There’s often a crushing feeling of fear whenever we feel like we can not control our circumstances. This can lead to loss of sleep, anger, anxiety and different levels of depression (to name a few).

Is there a way to escape this spiral into the darkness?

Our instincts of survival encourage us to fight, run or hide. We immediately want out of the situation. We naturally want the negative experience to be eliminated.

Is this even possible?

I love the insight by Albert Einstein, “A problem can not be solved at the same level of consciousness it was created”.

One thing that could be inferred by this is: If a problem is created from the mind, then it is unlikely that it can be solved by the mind.

We often hear the suggestions: Don’t worry about what’s out of your control. Just stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. And I love this one... Just be grateful for what you have.

If I am the one experiencing emotional distress and I hear this advice, my natural response would be, “Thanks a lot! Don’t you think I would do this if I could just turn on the happy switch?”

It’s not that the advice doesn’t have some validity. The issue is that advice is attempting to solve the problem through thought. That works with an accounting mistake, but will seldom have a positive impact resolving our fears, anxiousness or sadness.

As well, we already know that avoidance doesn’t seem to work either. In fact, using TV, prescription drugs, food, alcohol, etc. to detour from our negative feelings may subside the feeling we don’t want to feel, but in the long-term we are creating a mine field of greater challenges.

Then, where does this lead us?

It leads us to a deeper level of connection with ourselves. The fear is coming from somewhere and trying to get rid of it, change it, or deny it will not work.

What if the feeling we are having has a message for us, a teaching for us? What if the negative feeling or fear we are experiencing is calling us to greater growth and peace?

If these emotions are actually an ally for our greater good, then would you view and approach them differently?

If your 5 year old child is terrified of the big dog bouncing towards her, would you tell her to just get over it? If she is sad about her best friend moving to another country, would you tell her to just be grateful for what you have and not worry about it?

 - or -

Would you hold her, love her and protect her so she feels safe and secure? If you’d do this for your 5 year old daughter, then why wouldn’t you do this for yourself?

I’m going to invite you to hold the 5 year old inside of you so she feels safe, so he feels safe.

There’s nothing wrong with what you or anybody else is feeling. The problem is with how we are addressing our feelings. The truth is that anger and sadness have a right to be here, to be experienced and to be expressed just as much as excitement, joy and gratitude.

I invite you to give your emotions license to be expressed, heard and loved. If your 5 year old has this support, what often happens after they express their fear?

Don’t they begin to brighten and then focus on enjoying life?

If you’re not certain how to do this for yourself, then reach out for help from someone who can give you the tools you need to be able to do this yourself.

In gratitude,

Jason

PS. You’re right... the impending war, environment collapse or job loss is still there. The difference is that you can face the challenge from a place of peace. From this place you can live as peace, live as an earth keeper and do what you need to do with clarity to create your ideal career move.

Simple Steps to Calming Down:

1.Take 3 deep breaths

2. Focus on one thing near you that is still

3. Come present with this one thing

4. Watch the thoughts come into your mind like you’re watching a movie

5. Feel into your body... where do you feel the stress in the body?

6. Breathe into that part of the body

7. Let go of any agenda to get rid of the feeling or improve the feeling

8. Breathe and be with the feeling

9. Now... go back to a time when you felt this as a child

10. Stay separate from the child

11. What does he or she need?

12. Can you be fully with him/her in total loving acceptance?

13. Hold him/her

14. Let him/her know that you are here now, that they are safe and that they do not have to worry about (the issue)... you’ve got it covered.

15. Breathe with them

16. Hold them as you return back into the moment.

17. Return present with the body, the breath and something still in the room

How do you feel?